Daily Writing Prompt | 06

It’s 9:29 pm here and I’m currently having a warm cup of milk while trying to write an entry, which actually not solely Daily Writing Prompt | 06 but also; serves as my first entry for 2024 at the same time. For just a brief sharing, lately I feel so unproductive in which I’m quite feeling bad for, though I know I’m only having this break as to rest and freely did some leisure activities. Oh, it’s not that I couldn’t do such when I’m already having classes, but mostly I tend to prioritize my academics over other things. For that, I also tend to deprive myself of those opportunities and events in life. However, I’m somehow enjoying it, the life of being busy with studies and yet, having health issues was definitely my main struggle last semester and more even, last year 2023 as obviously greatly affected my life in all aspects. In relation, as for my entry for ‘what I complain about the most’ was having health issues, which severely affects my well-being including my academic performance for the recent-ended semester.

Considering that I seemed to sacrifice much in life for my studies, I was frankly not satisfied with my decrease performance which then resulted in a not satisfying midterm grades for me last semester. Despite that it was my choice of doing such, it was that painful and heartbreaking on my part to experience such kind of considered downfall in academic aspect. I’ll be honest, I’m not used of having such kind of grades even if it’s on midterm. Hence, if I have to see its equivalent within the grading system, the midterm grade I had during the recent-ended semester was the lowest grade I had ever. Thus, I’m honestly having hard time to accept it, thinking that I had tried to work hard to give my considered best regardless how I seemed to be drained and exhausted already.

Giving up and quitting had crossed my mind several times last year. It’s not only within my studies but also in life as whole as well. Having health issues made me feel so weak and also, deprived more like incapable of many things. Additional restrictions and limitations had caused me so many struggles in the past year. Accordingly, I had thought maybe my life in 21 years was already enough at certain times. However, I feel like that all of my sacrifices and even, overcoming such struggles would seem to put into waste. Besides, I somehow wanted to know what kind of life I may have after all such happenings; upon being able to succeed within the things I’m pursuing. My academics had a major impact in my life and yet, I also somehow wanted to succeed on pursuing my hobbies, as those are also the things, I’m considered to be passionate about.

All in all, I suppose the thing I mainly considered lately to complain about was my health issues and of course, its negative effects in all aspects of my life including my academic performance. Thus, such had resulted for me to have unsatisfying midterm grades in my part for the recent-ended semester too. Having health issues also had made me feel deprived more like incapable of so many things already. It has never been easy to continue what I had started and yet, I’m hoping that everything would still be okay at the end. It’s now 10:26 pm here and before I end this entry, I would like to mention that I’m quite worried for what could my grades for the recent-ended semester would be. I’m even afraid of no longer being an honor student, thinking that I would be more irrelevant without it. It’s really that painful and heartbreaking for me to had gone through so much yet, I seemed not to have what I aim in return. So, I just really hope that things would still be in favor me within and that, I could still have that academic achievement I have been trying work hard for. Anyway, I seemed to include already what I intend to write in this entry. I’ll be cutting it off here then. Thank you for spending your time reading my entry, and God Bless!