I’ll be honest, I have been losing hope that I could ever write stories again. It was due to the fact; I couldn’t write stories for several months to even a year or more already. I even came up to the point, wherein I was already thinking of deleting my writing account for poems and stories. However, I was able to post a new story earlier entitled as Second and the Middle on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/341270743-second-and-the-middle. It’s now 11:42 pm here and I just suddenly thought of writing a brief entry.
Just to share, I have started writing on Wattpad since March 16, 2018, and it was actually the same date wherein I had my writing account on Wattpad. I previously had an account sometime around 2016 and yet, I no longer had access to it now. Back then, I preferred to have a separate account for reading and writing. I just don’t want to mix up other writer’s ideas to my own works, meaning I wouldn’t be opening my reading account whenever I was working on my own story in order for me to solely write in accordance with my own ideas and concepts. In that way, I could also focus on my own story through depending on my own creativity.
I just remember, I had received somewhat offending comment when I was still on junior high school. At that time, I was told that my story resembles a known story of a famous author in which I was totally clueless about. Gosh, I had stopped reading other people’s stories the moment I had started writing my own stories and so, I wasn’t aware of what really happens within. Besides, I had to surrender my gadgets before at night at that time and also, I had limited time of using it on a day since we’re not allowed to use it on school for most of the times.
I had seemed to be outdated on what’s really happening online before and so, I just don’t reply to such comment which was somehow offending for me. Oh well, I also have to admit that I wasn’t really that updated on what’s on trend online at present though. I was somehow trying to limit my usage of social media, although there were times that I would post random stuff especially on my Instagram stories. As for that story, I no longer continued writing it, since I had lost the ‘spark’ I had the moment I had thought about it after that alleged similarity to a famous author. I suppose, it’s the better option for me as I was just unknown writer or should I say, unknown being who’s trying to write.
Let me share another two comments which almost made me want to quit on writing, few years after that incident. First, I was told that one my own written poem was just a copy-paste and search. Second, I was told that I was just wasting my time on writing; I’m not good enough to be a publish author. The first one had actually hurt me back then, as it was told by someone who had used to be important to me. Good thing, I was finally over him after so many years. As for the second one, it wasn’t only told by relatives and so, it really had hurt me so much not only before but until even until at present. I couldn’t really cut off the relatives, but I had limited interactions with them since then.
Moving on to the new story I had posted on Wattpad, which was called as “Second and the Middle” in which I had just started writing. I had to also mention here, TW: the story will talk about mental health: anxiety, depression, and suicide. Of course, it would mainly focus on Briana Azari Seneca as the protagonist of the story, who’s a writer and middle child. Yet, it would also be including her sufferings which may encompasses her traumas alongside with mental health: anxiety, depression, and suicide. Well, that’s all that I could share for now, as I would like to furtherly express my ideas on the story itself.
It’s now 12:45 am here, and I already seemed to include what I intended to write for this entry. After publishing this one, I would be arranging some things here. I would then sleep as soon as I’m done within, since I have to wake up early as I would be leaving by around seven in the morning. Anyways, I’ll be cutting it off here. Thank you for spending your time reading my entry, and God Bless!
ilay 